10 Jan Do Girls Like Guys Who Take Initiative?
Taking initiative and being proactive are attractive qualities for anyone to have. When it comes to dating and relationships, both men and women appreciate a partner who takes charge and makes decisive actions. However, there are some nuances regarding how women feel about men who take the lead. In this article, I’ll dive into the appealing and unappealing aspects of an assertive man to help men understand what women really think about guys who take initiative.
Why Women Are Drawn to Men Who Take Initiative
There are several key reasons why girls tend to like guys who take initiative:
1. It shows confidence.
One of the most attractive qualities in a man, according to women, is self-assurance. Taking the lead demonstrates that a man has confidence in his decisions and abilities. Guys who don’t take initiative, on the other hand, may find it challenging to convey this sense of assurance. When a man doesn’t second-guess himself or rely on others to make choices for him, it reveals a strong sense of self, making this kind of assuredness magnetic to women.
2. It’s decisive.
Another reason women appreciate a decisive man is that it saves time and moves things forward. Whether it’s planning a date or making joint decisions, a woman doesn’t want to feel like she’s dragging a passive guy along. A man who can assess a situation, weigh options, and take purposeful action is a valuable trait in a partner.
3. It’s traditional.
While societal norms have evolved, there is still a tendency for women to find traditional gender roles attractive. Taking initiative has traditionally been seen as a masculine trait. So when a man steps up to take charge, it can feel familiar and natural for many women.
4. It facilitates romance.
For women who enjoy romantic courtship, a man who initiates is welcome. Planning thoughtful dates, bringing flowers, and driving the relationship forward helps create romantic opportunities that many women deeply enjoy. Without proactive efforts from the man, these meaningful moments might not happen.
5. It’s reassuring.
In a relationship full of unknowns, a decisive partner can bring comfort. When a man takes charge of planning a special night, handling logistics for a trip, or spearheading an important conversation, it reassures the woman that things are under control. This provides a sense of security for many women.
When Taking Initiative Backfires for Men
However, some ways taking initiative can backfire and actually push women away. Here are some of the potential downsides of assertive men in relationships:
1. It can feel overbearing.
There’s a fine line between showing leadership and being controlling. Some men take initiative not as a way to move the relationship forward, but as a way to assert dominance or authority. When women feel strong-armed rather than led, it’s a red flag.
2. It minimizes her input.
While it’s good not to be wishy-washy, going too far in the other direction negates a woman’s voice. Healthy relationships are partnerships where both parties make decisions together. When a man charges ahead with his own agenda, it can minimize a woman’s role and leave her feeling unimportant.
3. It skips relationship milestones.
There is a sequential flow to dating that allows intimacy, closeness, and commitment to progress naturally. When impatience and initiative override pacing, it can damage the foundation. Rushing things skips key steps like emotional bonding and trust-building.
4. It misreads her signals.
Even the most decisive man needs social awareness and empathy to read a woman’s signals properly. Taking initiative when interest isn’t reciprocated can come across as ignorant, arrogant or disrespectful. Not picking up on social cues is a major interpersonal pitfall.
5. It disregards boundaries.
In the pursuit of romantic connection, some men prioritize initiative over consent and boundaries. Rather than ensuring a woman is comfortable with a given interaction, assumption and entitlement take over. This can lead to anything from unwelcome advances to harassment.
Key Areas Where Women Appreciate Initiative
Now that we’ve explored the pros and cons, let’s look at specific examples of where women tend to respond positively to men taking initiative:
1. Asking her out.
This scenario is obvious, but worth stating. Women consistently report that they want men to take the lead when it comes to asking for dates. Rather than dropping hints she’s interested, a woman usually prefers the man to pick up on cues and directly pursue spending time together.
2. Planning dates.
Once a date is secured, initiative is still welcomed in the planning stages. Women want the man to take the reins on when and where to go, crafting an itinerary, and handling logistics like transportation or reservations. She’s happy to provide input, but doesn’t want to dictate the details.
3. Initiating communication.
After a good first date, a woman usually expects the man to initiate follow-up contact. Whether it’s via text, phone call or social media outreach, women tend to prefer the guy kick things off. This shows continued interest on his part. She will reciprocate but prefers not to drive initial conversations.
4. Defining the relationship.
When it comes to having “the talk” and defining the relationship as exclusive or official, women overwhelmingly appreciate when the man brings this topic up first. She may drop hints, but taking the lead to DTR demonstrates his confidence, clarity and commitment.
5. Proposing marriage.
In heterosexual relationships that reach this advanced stage, women still stick to tradition. A man planning an elaborate, thoughtful proposal and asking her to marry him is the ideal for most women. Very few prefer to be the one popping the question to the guy.
6. Initiating sex.
Despite progressive attitudes about gender roles, research consistently finds that women prefer men to make the first move when it comes to sexual intimacy. This doesn’t mean being overly aggressive, but reading signals, setting an appropriate mood, and initiating physical escalation.
7. Meeting her family.
When it comes time for introductions to each other’s families, most women appreciate the man taking the lead on scheduling visits and planning activities. Orchestrating opportunities for her parents to get to know him shows care and investment.
8. Public displays of affection.
Simple gestures like hand-holding, a kiss on the cheek or an arm around her shoulders are small acts of initiative women adore. Rather than waiting for her cue, women prefer when the man unprompted shows affection in public. It makes the relationship feel acknowledged.
9. Protecting her.
Shielding a woman from physical or emotional harm demonstrates care and courage. Whether it’s a small act like walking on the outside of the sidewalk, or more significant protection, women are grateful when a man takes the initiative to keep her safe.
Key Takeaways for Men on Taking Initiative
If you’re a man interested in taking initiative with the women you date, here are some key pointers to keep in mind:
- Lead with confidence, not control. Stay aware of coming across overbearing vs. showing strength of character.
- Involve her. Initiate plans and decisions, but get her input and let her shape the direction too.
- Slow down. Don’t let eagerness and impatience rush important relationship milestones before their time.
- Read cues. Study her body language and responses so you only pursue when interest is clearly signaled.
- Respect boundaries. Her consent should be a prerequisite to any escalation or advancement she hasn’t explicitly welcomed.
- Know when to defer. Be attentive enough to recognize scenarios where stepping back and letting her take the driver’s seat is appropriate.
- Bring her along. Make her feel safe in your hands, but don’t leave her passive. Keep inviting her active participation.
- Check your ego. Don’t view taking initiative as a way to establish dominance, control outcomes or feed your pride.
- Have courage. Don’t be deterred by potential rejection. Have confidence to pursue intimacy while respecting her signals.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Do girls like when guys make the first move?
Yes, in most cases women appreciate it when men take the initiative to make the first move. This could mean asking for her number, initiating the first kiss, or escalating intimacy. She will give cues about her comfort level, but making the first move shows confidence.
2. How do guys show initiative when dating?
Guys can show initiative by asking her out, planning creative dates, driving conversation, following up to schedule the next date, and ultimately defining the relationship. Moving things forward while checking in on her comfort demonstrates initiative.
3. Is taking charge attractive?
Taking charge is generally attractive to women when it’s strong leadership, not domineering control. Leading with decisiveness and purpose shows confidence and direction. But it’s unattractive if it completely disregards her voice in decision-making.
4. What first date initiatives impress women?
Thoughtful initiatives like bringing flowers, planning a creative activity for the date, securing hard-to-get restaurant reservations, or displaying old-fashioned manners impress women. Effort and forethought is attractive.
5. Should men pay for the first date?
Opinions vary on this tradition. Many women still see men offering (not insisting) to pay for the first date as a positive initiative. But preferences evolve, so also offering to split the bill can show egalitarian consideration.
At the end of the day
Both men and women crave partners who are decisive, confident, and forward-thinking. Taking initiative is an attractive quality if done with emotional intelligence and genuine care for a partner’s input. While women appreciate men who lead, they also want to feel heard and respected. Can you write your own Declaration of Trust? Much like the best partners who step up to drive the relationship forward while staying attuned to signals that more reciprocal give-and-take is needed, crafting a Declaration of Trust requires the right balance of boldness and empathy, ensuring that the one taking the initiative imbues the commitment with an invaluable spark.